The Lonely Heart Attack Club - One of the funniest, feel-good books you'll read this year! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll love it! by J C Williams

Author:J C Williams [Williams, J C]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-07-12T04:00:00+00:00

Postman Pete leaned over the counter and motioned Emma. “Is he okay?” he asked. Jack cut a solitary figure sat near the window with his head embedded in a pile of paperwork. He didn’t even lift his head as Pete flounced in on his morning rounds. Jack had the attention span of a three-year-old and to see him reviewing paperwork was unique.

“He’s fine. He’s been on to the Guinness World Record people and they’ve given him some paperwork and rules he needs to work through.”

“I’m suitably impressed. He’s taking this seriously, then?” asked Pete.

“Totally, it’s great to see. It has gone a bit crazy over the last few days. But in a good way, as people want to get involved. The bank who gave us the brochures want to give us some sponsorship money, and the Douglas Town Hall has pretty much given us carte blanche, subject to applying for a permit. They’ve even said we can build the wall in the Sunken Gardens!”

Pete caught her off guard. “And… what about you two?”

Emma blushed, and tried to divert the conversation without success.

Pete was persistent. “C’mon, Emma. Spill!”

She dropped the tea towel on the countertop and took her head into her hands. “Aww, Pete, I don’t know what to do.”

“Darling, you’re absolutely stunning, you could have your pick of any man. Are you sure you want Jack to be that man?”

She looked a little coy. “I don’t know. We had a moment the other night. We nearly kissed.”

Pete instantly moved closer; his attention and focus were now directed completely at Emma. He thrived on gossip. He became giddy at the prospect; it was an insatiable thirst to him, much like the blood of a fresh virgin was to a vampire. Emma knew this and was careful how much information she wanted to divulge. If she’d told him about the advances of Hayley, he’d have had a gossip overload and likely imploded. “Go on,” he said.

“That’s it. We nearly kissed, but we were interrupted by the partially-covered arse cheeks of his grandad,” replied Emma. “In fact… Jack!” she shouted, “I can still see the outline of Grandad’s bum cheeks on the window! You said you were going to give it a wash!”

“I’m not going near his arse!” replied Jack, without turning.

“Not Grandad, the windows!”

Pete was eager to get her back to the matter in hand. “So, what are you going to do?”

“Well, I’ve told him that I’m going to come around to his flat and cook him a nice meal, as a reward for all of the good work he’s been doing, and we’ll see what happens. I don’t know why I like him. If you’d told me six months ago, I’d have said you were mental. I mean, look at him. He’s got a pencil poking out of his ear.”

“Why?” asked Pete.

“It kept rolling off the table and he figured it was the best place to keep it for easy access. This is what I’m on about. He’s a complete tool. But he’s, well… he’s Jack.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.